When Hunger Isn’t Hunger: Understanding Automatic Eating

Yesterday, I was out walking. I recently sprained my ankle my “good ankle”. My other ankle is pretty messed up from a bad fracture in 2008 that left me with chronic pain and limitations in that ankle.

I was walking pretty well and then one step caused some pain. My brain did a quick calculation. “Oh, that’s my bad ankle.” This was immediately followed by the sad thought that even though I was currently rehabbing a sprained ankle, my chronic ankle was still worse. I immediately mouthed the words “I’m hungry".

It wasn’t real hunger. I hadn’t just burned through all my energy stores or skipped a meal. But in that moment of disappointment, that flash of sadness and frustration, my brain offered up a familiar solution - food. If I had been home, I likely wouldn’t have even paused to say it. I would’ve found myself standing in the kitchen, already reaching for something to eat, barely conscious of the steps that led me there.

That’s the thing about eating as an automatic response—it can become so ingrained that we skip the part where we ask ourselves if we’re truly hungry. Food becomes the default comfort, a reflex when things feel hard, when we’re bored, stressed, or just needing a little relief.

This isn’t just about willpower. It’s about self-soothing and how automatic those patterns can become over time. When we’re used to using food to soften discomfort, it’s only natural that our minds reach for it before anything else. That’s automaticity in action, the well-worn path our brain takes without much thought.

But here’s the good news: we can start to change those patterns. The first step is noticing. Catching ourselves in that moment between discomfort and action. The next step is creating new options—new automatic responses that don’t involve food.

What else can you turn to when you need a little comfort? It could be something as simple as taking a few deep breaths, stepping outside for fresh air, listening to a favorite song, or even just placing a hand over your heart and acknowledging what you’re feeling. These small actions might not feel as immediately satisfying as food, at first but they can become just as comforting over time.

The goal isn’t to never eat for comfort again, but to expand the ways we care for ourselves, to give ourselves more choices in those tender moments. By gently interrupting the automatic pull toward food, we make space for something else something that supports us in a deeper way.

One of the most powerful ways to lessen automatic behaviors is through mindfulness. When we practice being present; really noticing our thoughts, feelings, and body sensations without judgment, it becomes easier to catch those moments when we’re on autopilot. We start to recognize the difference between true hunger and emotional hunger, between needing nourishment and needing comfort.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as pausing for a breath before you act. Asking yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” or “What do I really need?” That small pause is where choice lives.

Other ways to reduce automaticity include:

• Creating small, intentional routines. For example, when you feel stressed, have a list of go-to actions that help soothe you—stretching, stepping outside, writing a few words in a journal.

• Practicing self-compassion. When you notice yourself reaching for food automatically, respond with kindness, not criticism. It's okay. This is about learning, not perfection.

• Building awareness over time. The more often you check in with yourself, the more familiar you become with your patterns—and the more empowered you become to shift them.

It’s not about getting it right every time. It’s about building a relationship with yourself that allows for curiosity, growth, and gentleness.

Take a moment to reflect: What are some of the automatic responses you notice in yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed, sad, or in need of comfort? What’s one small thing you can try next time to give yourself that same comfort in a different way?

If you've noticed patterns with emotional eating but aren’t sure where to begin, I can help you figure it out.

Book a free 20-minute discovery call and let’s talk about what’s coming up for you. Together, we’ll explore what support might look like and whether working together feels like a good fit.

This is a no-pressure, judgment-free space to start finding your way forward.